When body says stop

I have been absent from here for two weeks, and from life and research for a week. The reason is my health, really. I’m not particularly sick, just have been having issues with my stomach. At first, it was a suspected stomach ulcer. Now it is more likely to be IBS. In any case, whether one or the other, I have terrible stomach cramps, especially at night, which is limiting my activity and not letting me sleep properly. I feel fine most of the time, but when it hits me, I really can’t do much. It is really annoying but there’s really nothing much I can do. Just let it pass and try not to get too stressed over the fact that I am not working to reach the aims I had set myself to do this month. And relax.

Relaxing is not easy. It is actually quite hard. I work a lot and I do a lot, so slowing down or stopping feels odd, although it is certainly relieving. I don’t think I am normally stressed out at all; I have learnt to cope and deal with having to do a lot to get to the places I want to get. But this sudden pain is perhaps trying to show me that I need to slow down, or maybe stop, for a little bit. I have to say I have never looked forward to the holiday season as much as I do this year. I need a rest, mental and physical, to forget that I own a phone, and to know that I’m far away from the annoying commitments I have some times. I am trying to work out why my body feels stressed, and what I can do I change all this. The pains, and the mental pressure, and the guilty feeling of knowing that perhaps I am not doing enough. It’s hard but I’m trying.

The only way of getting to places faster is by slowing down.